Friday, March 9, 2012

कोशिश



कल रात, मैंने कोशिश की
तुम्हारी यादों को जला कर
राख बना कर, पानी में बहाने की.
फूल सूख चुके थे
आसानी से जल गए.
यादें शायद अब भी गीली थी
धुआं और आसूँ देकर बुझ गयी.
कुछ अधजली मोम-बत्तियां थी.
बड़ी देर तक जलती रही,
अपने साथ मुझे भी पिघला गयीं.
रात धुएं के साथ बितायी,
सुबह एहसास हुआ
तारीख के सिवा कुछ भी नहीं बदला था..

35 comments:

  1. brilliant...

    "yaadein shayad ab bhi geeli thee"
    taareekh ke sivay kuchh bhi nahi badla"

    bahut hee shandar lines..(ya fir land mines)
    keep it up....sb kuchh uda do..

    tum ek "sahityik gurrilla" ho..
    jo apnee hee satta ke khilaf chhapamar ladai lad rha hai....

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  2. brilliant piece of work Neha. it made my mind shiver, these words have life.

    especially these:
    यादें शायद अब भी गीली थी
    धुआं और आसूँ देकर बुझ गयी.

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    Replies
    1. And that is a brilliant comment. Thanks Sawan..:)

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  3. Mind Blowing...Reminded me something I wrote many years ago but it is too dark (my poem)....

    Loved it :)

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    Replies
    1. Thanks a lot, Saru. Would love to read that one someday.. :)

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  4. Sigh !
    This was exquisite....
    Brought back memories of the song "Mera kuch saamaan...."

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    Replies
    1. I love that song too.. Gulzar ji is a magician :)

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  5. Ah , the memories and nostalgia ! forever haunts .
    Good one :)

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  6. tum mahan lekhika ho!!! Sach mein..!!!

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  7. maaf kijiyega..lekin ye tarikh shabd sunte hi mujhe 'tarikh par tairkh..tarikh par tarikh..' yaad aa jaata hai :P

    par kavita mein bahut dum hai...aur bahut dard hai...

    tarikh ka badalna..ek umeed bhi to hai :)

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    Replies
    1. Now that you've said it, mujhe bhi wahi yaad aa raha hai.. :P
      Thanks for the appreciation.. It was my first attempt at writing in Hindi, so I wasn't very sure.. :)

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  8. आपने दर्द को काफी बेहतेरीन शब्दों मै बयान किया है. इस कविता मै काफी दमदार चित्रकारी भी है, जो मुझे बहुत अच्छी लगी.
    "फूल सूख चुके थे
    आसानी से जल गए.
    यादें शायद अब भी गीली थी
    धुआं और आसूँ देकर बुझ गयी."
    बढ़िया.

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  9. Its a great composition of words explaining someone's heart... Please keep writing... I have written something to console the words...

    अच्छी कोशिश थी यादों को जलाने की, पर यादें नहीं जलती ...
    मोम-बत्तियां उम्मीदों के मोम की, रहने दीजिये यूँ ही चलती...
    धुंए की रात छंट जायेगी, सुबह आपको एहसास दिलाएगी
    के तारीख बदल जाने से ही है जिंदगी बदलती ।

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  10. uffffff meri ankhon mein to shai mein aaansooo aa gaye :) :) itna dard bhara akhir ata kahan se hai ufffffffffffffffffff

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  11. Superb... reminded me the gazal "Mera kuch saamaan ... "

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  12. awsome....yaaar i m waiting for the next

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  13. beautifully written neha..

    kaash yeh yaadein dhua ho kar ud jaati..

    kaash yeh zindagi bhi ek nayi subaah ke saath badal jaati.. ;)

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  14. Beauty ! I have a thing for poems and this one is as good as any. I liked the last line a lot :) Thank you for the poem :)

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  15. Beauty of reading a poem is read it till the end to know if poet has done justice to the feelings. very nice work :)

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  16. Awesome!!!! :) One of the best I have read in recent times:)
    And also, an inspiration for me, to re-start writing in hindi :)

    Seriously, this one is too good for words.

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  17. Beautiful..simply beautiful. :)

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